...And now, a preview of Rocky 5... THOUSAND!
Capitalist Hollywood
11-16-04
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(ten points if you correctly guess the allusion) Video games, books, mad libs, software, cupcake decorating kits, music Cd's, 'operation', action figures, plush dolls, collectible mini busts, masks, calenders, stickers, shampoo, twinkies, towels, drinks, shirts, pants, coats, backpacks, clocks, candy, zipper attachments, beanies, watches, kites, throw blankets, lunch boxes, alarm clocks, money banks, pencil tins, playing cards, wallets, coasters, breakfast cereal sets, magic 8 balls, pillows, checkers sets, chess sets, bottles, sippy cups, light switch plates, inflatable chairs, Etch A Sketchs, waste baskets, dinnerware sets, balloons, cookie jars AND "Plah-Doh rotten root canal play sets." What do these items have in common? They're all Shrek 2 merchandise, and I know I could add hundreds to that list, but I'm far too lazy. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Shrek 2 a fucking movie? So then, whatever happened to watching a movie? Without having thousands of dollars of extra merchandise shoved down your throat, that is. On May 15th of 2004 DreamWorks LLC. issued a press release stating that they had chosen to team up with Hasbro to design and distribute their massive merchandising campaign. Their plan went through as several dozen products were released months in advance, with an eventual flooding of mass marketers like Wal-Mart and Costco the week of the movie release. The amount of money involved in this marketing decision sure did seem to make it a newsworthy event. Ad naseum product marketing is only the current side effects of capitalist Hollywood. It all started decades ago when they invented... The sequel. Since then whenever a movie is popular and has a relatively lucrative run at the box office the production company big wigs all have a meeting. They pat themselves (and each other) on the back and say "Well, that was good. Now do it again!! MORE MONEY, MORE MONEY, MORE MONEY!!!" With the inevitable onset of this greed, creativity and originality go down the toilet. Oh- and by the way, Shrek 3 is in the writing stage and is slated for a 2006 release. Some film industry execs are now pushing the money stuffed envelope even further by filming TWO sequels simultaneously. As you read this (fall, 2004) Johnny Depp is getting skanky-pirate-y-fied up on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean 2 & 3. A movie that was based off of a friggan amusement park ride made money, so now IT'S BAAAaaaaaaaack. Further showing that the pool of creativity in Hollywood is now filled with money is that movies are made from absolutely anything that has shown merchandising potential. Along with sequels, prequels, and *sigh* theme park rides, there are book adaptations, comic books, AND.. Remakes. Flash back to that room with the film production fuckers: "Gee, bill, I saw this really good movie from the 60's sometime called 'Ocean's Eleven' and I gotta say, it was well made, well written and superbly acted. Now, let's make it again so we can add currently hot actors and see exactly how much juice we can squeeze out of this already established franchise." Oh- and by the way, 'Ocean's Twelve', the SEQUEL to the REMAKE of a good movie just came out last weekend. This is not to say these movies can't, in fact... NOT suck, just that the industry doesn't care anymore as long as the general public eats it up like idiotic mindless cogs with cash in their pockets and two hours to kill. Some movies are very original with sequels already planned to tell the story (The Matrix 1,2,3) and some highlight the difference between a sequel and a volume (Kill Bill Vol. 1,2). How do I choose to fight the system? Don't buy the cheap plastic or plush shit. Don't go out and see the movie if you know there's a 97.34% chance that it's not worth those pesky unpopped kernels at the bottom of the bag. Just plain don't support it. If everyone stopped buying all this crap, then I wouldn't have to be assaulted with it every time I went to the store. A movie isn't worth seeing because of the ways invented to exploit it, but for the movie in and of itself. I'll still give SOME of these Hollywood pieces of doodie a chance MAYBE if they look interesting. If someone dragged me to see Shrek 2, they would have to have a mighty strong power over me. The bottom line is, that to be actually entertained, to be truly inspired, to make you actually THINK *GASP* you really have to seek out the good movies, the films that provoke thought outside your comfort bubble. Seek out a flick that'll fuck with your head, it'll thank you. What's the most original and thought provoking film this year so far? Garden State. Look it up. Shrek 2 Plah-Doh rotten root canal play sets? Gimme a fuckin' break. I'm Dustin Meehan Please argue with me. |